


The Etiquette of Sending Nudes

by TheInsaneFox



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Discussions of sex, Gen, JJ POV, JJ loves watching Otabek try and fail, M/M, Nude Photos, Otabek is an idiot with social media and romance, somehow he decides JJ is the one to ask for help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:37:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInsaneFox/pseuds/TheInsaneFox
Summary: JJ didn't know what to think when Otabek called him out of the blue one day, and he certainly hadn't expected that Otabek would ask him how to get his crush (it had to be Yuri Plisetsky, who else would it be?) to send him nudes. JJ gives his advice and watches his friend continue to flail until things finally all come together.This is a remix of Send Nudes by Voxane, told from JJ's point of view.





	The Etiquette of Sending Nudes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [voxane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxane/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Send Nudes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060244) by [voxane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxane/pseuds/voxane). 



> I FINALLY FINISHED THIS!
> 
> This is a remix I did for the YOI Remix. I was so excited to get assigned my really good friend [Voxane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxane/pseuds/voxane) because I knew IMMEDIATELY which story and which parts I was going to do!
> 
> Anyway, I'm excited to share this, even if it's a few days late. I hope you all enjoy, I hope Vox enjoys, and I hope you all give the original story some serious love!!

JJ had, for a long time, considered himself to be one of Otabek’s closest friends. Even though they had drifted apart over the years, he always kept tabs on Otabek and tried to at least say hi to him at every competition they did together. It didn’t always end in the warmest of exchanges, but he knew Otabek was just a man of few words. He’d been like that even back when they trained and lived together.   
  


So the first time Otabek came to him for “romantic” advice, JJ was floored, to say the least.   
  


After not talking for several months, maybe even going on a year, he wasn’t sure what to expect when the name  _ Otabek Altin _ appeared on his phone screen one day.  
  
  
“Beks! What’s up? I never hear from you, how are ya?”   
  


Otabek ignored the greeting and cut right to the chase, as he tended to do.    
  


Which was fine. JJ had always respected that about Otabek. Not everyone wanted to do small talk, and that was perfectly acceptable.   
  


He never expected that this conversation would turn into Otabek asking the proper way to ask for nudes from a love interest.   
  


“The etiquette Beks,” JJ echoed, convinced he hadn’t heard his friend right.   
  
  
“The etiquette.”   
  


JJ had to take a moment to collect his thoughts as he let out a suffering sigh. Honestly, he had been so excited to see his old friend calling him that he had hoped this conversation was going to be about them. But he could tell that Otabek was in deep and, although he never explicitly said it, he knew it was over Yuri Plisetsky.   
  


“There’s no  _ etiquette _ ;” JJ couldn’t believe that he was explaining this. Otabek really was dumber than a box of rocks sometimes.   
  


Otabek couldn’t see him, but JJ had to pull his phone away from his face for a moment to take a deep breath and weigh his options. On the one hand, he could just tell Otabek that he needed to figure this shit out for himself. On the other, he knew from experience what a walking disaster Otabek was and that he needed his hand to be held every step of the way.    
  


And JJ could not, on good conscience, throw Otabek to the wolf that was Yuri Plisetsky and expect him to come out alive.   
  


Okay, he could do this. He was King Jean-Jacques Leroy. He could explain to Otabek how dating and the err...“etiquette” of sending dick pics to your crush worked.    
  


“You just need to make it happen. Flirt a little. Send some suggestive pictures first. Bella loves it when I take some racy gym selfies. I can send some to you if you need inspiration.”   
  
  
“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Otabek’s voice left no room for JJ to argue.  
  
  
Oh. Right. Sending half-naked photos to a friend that you aren’t trying to seduce is fucking weird, Leroy.   
  


He tried to offer some serviceable advice, but JJ could tell the conversation was just becoming frustrating for both of them. He didn’t know what else to say other than to tell Otabek to maybe try sending a few pictures to Yuri first and see how he responded. It had worked for him with Bella, so what did Otabek have to lose?   
  


And then the idea hit JJ like a semi-truck barreling down the freeway. He wished Otabek could see the blinding grin he got when he thought of it. JJ Leroy was a genius.   
  


“Do you have those grey shorts you used to wear, the ones with the white stripes down the side?” JJ felt like a goddamn genius for remembering those.   
  


He could hear the apprehension in Otabek’s voice as he answered, “I think so. Why?”   
  


“Perfect, you can totally see your entire dick in those. I think he’ll catch your drift.” JJ was actually grinning, hoping that really sank in with Otabek.   
  


“Jean.  _ What do you mean? _ ” Poor Otabek sounded absolutely mortified.   
  


Somehow, JJ thought that was hilarious. He had thought Otabek used to walk around like that on purpose. The guy really was dumber than he thought.   
  


“Oh my god, Otabek, you’re kidding me. I thought you were doing it on purpose. Like, some move of dominance or whatever. Like, ‘Woah! Here's my giant Kazakh dick, hello Montreal!’ Because I DEFINITELY noticed, Beks. At first I thought you were totally coming onto me, that's why when you wouldn't hang out I thought you were an assho-”   
  


He didn’t even need to look down at his phone screen to realize that the line had gone dead.   
  


Well, then. Otabek may not appreciate the advice JJ had given him, but at least he’d gotten a good laugh out of the conversation.   
  


He really hoped that Otabek and Yuri figured their shit out. They were equally crazy about each other, but also equally stupid.

 

* * *

  
  


When JJ saw a Snapchat notification from Otabek a few days later, he about dropped his phone in pure shock. Otabek Altin, the teenaged Grandpa of the figure skating world, had figured out how to use social media.   
  


Well, sort of. The first picture JJ got was just of Otabek’s finger over the camera lens.   
  


He had to start somewhere.   
  


Over the course of the next several weeks, JJ was proud to notice that Otabek had not only began to use social media more, but he was actually getting better at it: Photos of sunsets over Almaty on Instagram, random thoughts posted on Twitter. Even some short videos of songs he was working on appeared on Snapchat.   
  
  
His little buddy was growing up. Gone were the days of wondering if Otabek was even alive. He had joined the twenty-first century and would share bits and pieces of his life, small glimpses into the person he was when he wasn’t on the ice. It was humanizing in a way that JJ never thought he needed Otabek to be.    
  


And then he sent out that video of him falling down the stairs.   
  


“What the actual fuck, Beks?!” JJ swore under his breath as he watched the video for what had to be the tenth time--there was no way he wasn’t going to save that Snap after Otabek stupidly sent it out to everyone on his contacts list.    
  


He tried calling Otabek a few times but it went straight to voicemail. JJ chewed on his nails as he tried to decide what to do next. All he could think of were intrusive images of Otabek lying bloody and broken in the bottom of the stairwell, dead, with nobody to find his body for hours, maybe even days.   
  


__ Okay, chill out, Leroy. That’s the anxiety talking again.  
  


Finally, on the fifth try, the call went through. Otabek answered in a vaguely annoyed tone, mumbling thinly-veiled threats when JJ cut him off.    
  


“BEKS! Jesus Christ, dude, I thought you were dead!”   
  


It was silent for a beat, and for a second JJ was worried Otabek had hung up or passed out on him, maybe both. But he finally heard Otabek’s sigh on the other end of the line, “Jean, I’m fine. Bruised and embarrassed, but fine.”   
  


JJ felt the air return to his lungs hearing that and let out a stream of swears in French. “Okay, good. You scared the crap out of a lot of people, Beks.”   
  
  
“No kidding. You’re like the fifth person who’s called to check on me.” Otabek let out a hollow laugh.   
  


“Well, I hope Princess Plisetsky is worth all of this.” JJ laughed.   
  


The groan that came from Otabek was a combination of humor and pain. “He is, Jean.”   
  
  
“I know.” JJ was glad his friend could laugh after falling down who knew how many stairs. “Just remember when you two lovebirds finally get together: Inhale. Exhale. Eat ass.”   
  
  
“I’m hanging up now.” Otabek didn’t even try to hide his disgust this time as JJ doubled over laughing.  
  
  
The line was dead before JJ could respond, but he was glad Otabek seemed to be in good spirits.   
  
  
Hey, at least he wasn’t dead. That meant he still had a chance with Plisetsky.

 

* * *

  
  


Weeks passed and eventually, the news that Otabek and Yuri had gotten together was out. JJ was so happy for Otabek that he’d called him the instant he heard.   
  


“So I take it you got those nudes you were looking for?” JJ was teasing but he was honestly curious as well.   
  
  
“Jean…” Otabek’s exasperation was palpable. “I want to pretend our conversation about that never happened.”   
  


“Aw, c’mon, Beks! I just want a yes or no answer!”    
  
  
“BYE, JEAN.”   
  


More howling laughter. “I was kidding man, chill. I just wanted to congratulate you and Yuri. I’m glad you two figured things out finally.”   
  


They bantered for a few minutes, but JJ was at the rink and needed to get back to practice. He only hung up after he made Otabek promise to call more often, and went back to practicing his new free skate.   
  


When he came back on his break, he saw a text from Mila of all people telling him to open Snapchat  _ right now _ . She had sent it to him just a minute before he picked up his phone, so he figured something good must be happening for the urgency.   
  
  
He pulled open Snapchat to see what was going on and… oh.   
  
  
Otabek.   
  


That beautiful, stupid fuck.   
  


JJ finally got the answer about those nudes Otabek had been trying to get. Mostly because the dumbass had posted his nudes  _ onto his Snapchat story _ .   
  


That being said...JJ had to admit it was a very well done nude. And fuck it, Otabek was  _ hot _ , he would be the first to admit it. Bella had even said she’d be game for a threesome if the third person was Otabek...    
  
  
So maybe he could just...take a screenshot for later.   
  
  
For blackmail purposes, should the need ever arise.   
  
  
Yeah. That.   
  
  
JJ shouldn’t have been surprised by the text he got about a half hour later from Otabek.  _ Jean, I will end you if you don’t delete that screenshot right. now. _

  
  



End file.
